I was commissioned to write a novel because of my clever writing quips.

That's right-- I was commissioned to write a novel because I'm obviously the best writer around. I call it:

Well, lucky reader, you're reading the best writing around

Essentially its just me making fun of the reader and than talking about how great I am.

A little snippet:

You know who's great? Me. The Author. Cause I wrote this.
You know who's an inane spouter of dribble and waste products? You. The Reader. The smartest thing you have ever done was purchase a book by me. The Glorious DeltaKite.

I sent it to Harper Collins-- they haven't really commissioned it-- but I'm so great how could they not.

I don't understand how anyone but me can sleep at night.

DeltaKite forever.